Milk’s favorite cookie
I had a craving for Oreos the other day. I’m not one to disobey my urges (as they’re fairly urgent), so I headed over to the nearest corner store and picked up a bag of Oreos. Great story, right?
The Oreo is a good cookie. Perhaps it’s a great cookie. I don’t know what cookie I’d pick if you pinned me down and asked me for the greatest cookie, but once you stopped pinning me I’d likely bash your head in with a folding chair.
But one problem with the Oreo is that it goes stale fairly quickly, It’s a downer to bite into an Oreo, only to then realize the cookie portion isn’t providing the crunch it should. Back in the day, you actually had to transfer your cookies from the original packaging to a air-tight environment if you didn’t want stale cookies. So imagine my delight upon discovery that our modern world™ has stepped up once again, now providing us with packages that include resealable adhesive flaps on top. Grab a few cookies and let the package worry about repackaging itself — no more worries about soggy Oreos for the lazy jerk!
I remember the Oreo halves being much harder to separate years ago. The Oreo recipe was recently updated to remove hydrogenated oils, and it’s possible the answer lies there. It’s also possible I was pretty incompetent back in the day, littered among the crumbs of broken cookie shells that professed my shame.
Nabisco claims that Oreos are “milk’s favorite cookie.” I’m not brushing off Nabisco’s claim, but questions need to be raised: Did Nabisco actually survey milk on its preference? If so, did their representatives remain evenhanded, or were there biases towards Oreos? And what were the criteria to get into milk’s good graces? If it’s dunkability, isn’t milk admitting it enjoy being penetrated by Oreos? Is this what Nabisco is implying?
Regardless, Nilla wafers could give Oreos a run for their money anyway. Now that’s a cookie: unassuming, light… fuck, I think it’s time for another run to the store.
I’m eating an Oreo right now.